Love · Pain

Missing You

I’m missing you so much, and yet I can’t bring myself to call your phone or even type those words to tell you. It’s not only you I miss. I miss who I was when I was with you, when we weren’t hurting each other.

I miss the laughing, the hugging, the cuddling and even though I do those things now it will never have the same feeling as when I did those things with you! See you abandoned me, left me lost and alone with no sense of who I even was anymore without you. You left but you miss me and now you expect me to come running back to you because you had the courage to admit it.

I miss you with everything in me but I’m not brave enough to risk losing myself again or losing everything I gained when I learned to let you go. You were once my world and loving you was all I wanted to do. Now I miss you but refuse to go back to you.

I miss your smile, running my fingers through your hair, and hearing your laugh. I miss the way you would lay your head on my lap and talk until you drifted off to sleep. I miss the brush of your soft skin against mine every time we touched. I miss the look in those big brown eyes as they would sparkle and your pupils get big as you tell me you love me.

I miss just hearing you say my name and the feeling I’d get in the pit of my stomach as my heart raced hearing your voice dance across my eardrums so seductively knowing it could only be you saying my name so sweetly!

I miss you, but I’ll never tell you.

-Marie

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