Love · Pain

Self Confession

I have the biggest confession to make to myself and although I already knew I chose to convince myself I didn’t. I told myself there’s no possible way I could know the answer to my own toughest questions.

I told myself I was confused, I still am and yet I know the answer, one I knew the whole time and yet the last answer I expected to confess to myself. See I’m confused because while I kiss you I think of him and when I think of him my heart swells and my legs get a little weak under the weight of my heavy heart.

While I’m with you I think of him but when I’m with him I think of you. I think of how your heart would break if you really knew where mine was I think of how our future would shatter if you knew where I longed to be. I convinced myself the grass is greener all while knowing I knew better!

My biggest confession is knowing I could do no better than you, it could get no better than what I have now. My biggest confession was realizing you deserved better and I knew that so I convinced myself it would be your loss when the whole time I knew it would be mine.

The grass is far from greener on the other side he is far from the man you could ever be, but I convinced myself he’s what I deserve because I could never be special enough for you.

My biggest self confession is admitting I was looking for something new and never thought the hurt I caused you. I’m selfish and now that I confessed to myself it’s time to confess to you.

-Marie

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