She’s silent so no one can hear her cries because she knows it’s something they will never truly understand. They try but they just don’t get it, she doesn’t fault them because they’ve never been through it. She knows they care and that’s enough but she won’t put them through the pain of seeing those tears and never being able to understand to help.
she knows they love her but that just isn’t quite enough, see it’s not that she’s ungrateful she just can’t shake the constant thoughts that depress her. Yet when she finally feels like she can talk her mind goes blank and she can’t express those thoughts, so she stays silent.
She stays silent while tears stain her cheeks and her eyes burn from every aching thought that caused those tears. She stays silent while she vaguely hears them in the background asking “what’s wrong? Are you okay?” but the only answer she can form is “GO AWAY, I DON’T KNOW BUT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!!”
She stays silent while memories from the past haunt her but she swore she got rid of them. She’ strong and yet so weak. She’s blessed and yet so cursed. She’s came so far and yet she still feels as if she’s a failure, as if every accomplishment will NEVER be enough. She said she let the past go and yet she still hears them whisper so softly in her ear at night like a mother singing a sweet lullaby to her baby. But those whispers are not like that, they’re not sweet, they don’t draw her in; instead they make her mind race and her heart ace.
Those demons creep up and whisper to her when she’s at her happiest. She let her past go and yet when she lays down for bed she hears the piercing whispers of “You’ll never be good enough. You asked for this. No one will believe you. You won’t make it in life”. When she looks at the man who claims to love her dearly she stays silent because in her head all she hears is “he’ll run eventually, You’re tainted, It’s only pity and convenience” .
She stays silent while she watches her world crumble to pieces, she realizes it’s all in her head but she stay silent because she can’t get rid of it and no one will understand!