Pain

Broken

I used to be so sure of myself so self aware and confident but you broke me. I’ve been through a lot of things and swore nothing could hurt me more than someone snatching my innocence and yet I was so wrong. I rebuilt myself forgave the sick and twisted ways of those who thought it was okay to bring me down. I had learned to move forward be strong I was too sure too confident to not let my past break me.

I thought nothing could hurt more than lying there in the dark helpless with those blood soaked sheets and tear stained pillows at seven, I was so sure if I could get through that I could get through anything! Oh I was entirely wrong those long sleepless feared nights trying to get my sanity back was nothing compared to the way you broke me!

The saddest part of it all was the countless nights I cried I your lap as you looked me in my eyes and I told you the pain I had went through the emotions I felt and the demons I had to face. You listened to my cry you felt the chills against my skin but I guess you could think of nothing but your personal gain.

My past was nothing compared to the hell you would bring. I trusted you, loved you and you used it for your amusement. All the “I hate you’s” the “B**ch you ain’t sh*t” see the mental pain is what broke me. See I dared to love you more than myself I dared to trust you with my heart but instead; you took the fragile pieces of my heart, trust, and love I had managed to put back together and crushed it! you put it under your evil self hatred foot and crushed it but it felt good to break me didn’t it?

You felt powerful didn’t you, you enjoyed building trust just slap everything back in my face! You were happy to break my confidence make me feel worthless!

I was broken and you didn’t care

-Marie

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